rosefae

Fri, 20 May 2005 19:56:10 GMT

and its raining grey
as i make my way outside to try to make my way home
your pictures on the walls like to scream what they say
"keep your questions to yourself, yourself, go back to sleep alone"
next to the body of someone i don't know
so was it good? or does it matter? just get up and go
i dont understand these games we play but everytime i wake
i'm scared that its the last breath i will take
so please forgive me
for hesitating in approaching this trial and error that is loving
all i need
is just an hour or two to make you understand
what its like to be discarded after use
heart, mind, and body up for rent
yet you like to act like i'm not worth a fucking penny that you spent
i'm easy to bend, you tend to break
you like to burn the things you take from me, from me, from me, all of me
so please forgive me
for hesitating in approaching this trial and error that is loving
all i need
is just an hour or two to make you understand
what its like to be discarded after use
youre just the body of someone i dont know
so was it good? or does it matter? just get up and go
i dont understand these games we play but everytime i wake im scared
that its the last breath i will take
so please forgive me
for hesitating in approaching this trial and error that is your loving
all i need
is just an hour or two to make you understand what its like to be discarded after use
all i need is loving
i just need your loving
so please forgive me

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 04:39:16 GMT

::: ten bands/performers that you have seen live (in no order):::
1. Keller Williams
2. Kaki King
3. The Dead
4. Yonder Mountain String Band
5. Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
6. Perpetual Groove
7. Moe.
8. The String Cheese Incident
9. Widespread Panic
10. Toots and the Maytals

:::nine things that you are looking forward to (in no order):::
1. Mike Gordon next week
2. performing with my band
3. good shows over the summer
4. summertime
5. bonaroo
6. finishing the painting im working on
7. Starting Adam's painting
8. Tomorrow with Matthew
9. Moving in with Matthew

:::eight things you wear daily (in no order):::
1. My Matthew hemp
2. either the hemp Matthew gave me with the glass bead some random hippie girl gave him, or one that i made
3. my twisty swirly copper bracelt that kinda looks like my hair
4. a flowy skirt
5. my hemp pretzel knot ankelt
6. flip flops or knock off berks that i ganked from Matthew
7. a tshirt or wife beater
8. my engagement ring and wedding band

:::seven things that annoy you (in no order):::
1. addiction
2. abuse
3. rude people
4. those who refuse to open their minds
5. my pudge
6. bad drivers
7. dishonesty

:::six things you touch every day (in no order):::
1. Matthew
2. my car
3. my pets
4. my guitar
5. a book
6. my cell phone

:::five movies that you could watch over and over (in no order):::
1. American Beauty
2. Festival Express
3. The Fifth Element
4. Half Baked
5. Lost and Delerious

:::four people who you would want to spend more time with (in no order):::
1. Sarh
2. Elise
3. April
4. my parents

:::three cd's/records that you listened to last:::
1. Garden State soundtrack
2. Kaki King- Legs to Make Us Longer
3. The Essential Janis Joplin

:::two of your favorite songs ever:::
1. Imagine- John Lennon
2. At Last- Etta James

:::one person that you would spend the rest of your life with:::
1. My Matthew... and i will

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 15:27:26 GMT

went to another amazing show this week. Kaki King at the Redlight Cafe. She was fantastic. I love her. scary how she looks EXACTLY like my sister. wow, it would be really cool if my sister could play guitar like that. I want to see her again! Next is Mike Gordon with the Benevento Russo Duo. Ive never seen them before- has anyone here? how are they?I hear back from Clean Vibes in a few days to see if my application was accepted. i so hope that it was, id love to go clean up bonaroo this year. my parents bought an appartment yesterday, so theyre actually gonna go through with this moving thing. im really happy for them. Matthew, update your journal. i need good things to read. love you.

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 05:18:20 GMT

i got two random disposable cameras developed today. i didn't know what was on them, so i was very pleasantly surprised to find one of them was pictures of me and Matt from last spring. it made me so happy flipping through them and seeing all of our cuteness. Matthew is the best.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 04:56:51 GMT

Commit random kindness and senseless acts of beauty

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 05:30:37 GMT

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 04:13:21 GMT

A miracle has occurred.
Ladies and gentlemen... drumroll please
*drumrolldrumrolldrumrolldrumrolldrumroll*
Today, I passed my driver's test

FUCK YES!!!!!!

Well I'll be damned

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 05:05:59 GMT

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 04:33:01 GMT

these are my leftovers from langerado. new stuff soon. anyone interested in anything?

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 16:26:28 GMT

im scared. i change moment to moment now. things can be fine, i'll be happy and smiling. the next thing i know i'll feel like i cant stand. that happens for no reason at all. when i have a bad day on top of it, i have to force myself to keep breathing

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 03:58:29 GMT

today i recorded a new comercial. this one was the most fun i've had doing such work. it was a song thats gonna be used in the comercial for the bratz pack dolls... they're like punkish super whorish barbies. pretty cool. it was fun to do because it was so different from what i usually do (they wanted it to sound like ashlee simpsonish) so i got to be really theatrical with it, and the guys who hired me will be good connections. plus it pays well.

i have cramps. fuck

tomorrow i have to be at work at 7. i'm not excited about this. i'm sleepy. i love you matt

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 19:29:41 GMT

i love springtime rain. its grey outside, but the earth is starting to turn a thousand bright colors. its just warm enough to run around in. im wearing the shirt and pants you slept in last night, your smell still lingering just a little. i love sleeping beside you. i love springs together. i love your arms. i love your heart. i love us.

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 08:01:35 GMT

i'm leaving in 7 hours for ft lauderdale til friday, and then on to Langerado this weekend. i'll be back monday. til then

Becca: Sorry i didnt call you back last night. i'll call you when i get home

Sarah: Take care of my eskimo boots. If they die, so will you. have fun on your vacation

Matthew: Deal still on? It better be! I love you sooooooooooooo extremely much. You have my heart fully and completely. BE SAFE! I'm gonna tackle your ass come Friday. Obscene amounts of hugs and kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 07:24:59 GMT

from time to time, this distinct sensation rises up in my chest. it feels like my body is about to break in half, and all the love inside it will come pouring out, because my physical being is not big enough to hold it all. it is peace and ecstasy and longing and contentment and energy and everything all at the same time.
I love you

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 23:07:07 GMT

Tonight's Agenda:
See moe. at the Tabernacle (my favorite venue)

Tomorrow night's Agenda:
See moe. at the Fox (my second favorite venue)

i am a happy camper

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 15:35:58 GMT

the dmv is filled with the workers of Satan.
i failed my test again.
but it was my fault, not the demons.
it was rather funny actually. i was trying to make a uturn around the median on the highway, and i thought i had time to make the turn before the truck that was comming down the hill reached me. alas, i did not. i barely made it, with the redneck instructor in the passengers seat screaming "oh my LOOOOORD!" the jackasses in the truck pulled up beside me and almost hit me from the side just so they could lean out the window and flick me off, so while trying to avoid them smashing into me, i drove up on the median.

it really sucks... but i honestly couldnt be too upset about it because it was just so comical. i'm a good driver. i really am. everyone who ever gets behind the wheel of a car will have moments when they make the wrong decision and the results are far less than desireable. mine just happened to be with during my exam.

oh well, third times a charm

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 22:13:26 GMT

We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

i like this quote

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 21:50:14 GMT

"I wanted to live in my husband's heart. He was my star, my destiny, my faith, my end. I was small, but I had within me an immense power for living. I had gathered all the starlight in the universe into my eyes in order to bathe him in its glow.
A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover." ~ Consuelo de Saint-Exupery

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 08:13:09 GMT

she comes and goes
like the ebb and flow of currents swirling and churning
and twists back the arm of her victim
until the wretched sternum splits
and from the fault shreeks "what more?"

she tilts her head, her smile a dreadful delight
"what more? WHAT MORE? nothing. only the same. until you bleed a deeper red"
and thus the child falls
crumpled, beaten by the cries of ten thousand souls,
into a paroxysm of laughter
and here i will stay
curled in my corner until i die and start again
Abraxas, you have failed me

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 20:49:03 GMT

im sick... sad panda

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 22:29:00 GMT

The show last night was un fucking believeable. i felt so incredibly terrible before and almost didnt go, which would have been a huuuuuuuuge mistake. it was so amazing. They played Nothern Song, Come Together (i cant express how insane it is to see Yonder playing Come Together. Jesus), and Dear Prudence, which are some of my favorite Beatles tunes. They did Two Hits, and then did a long jam teasing it towards the end. and......... drum roll.... Futureman played with them! it was one of the sickest shows i've seen in a while.

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 16:41:02 GMT

Yonder Mountain String Band and silver haze tonight

Fuck yes!

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 05:30:54 GMT

I am worth $1,768,578.00 on HumanForSale.com

see how worthless you can make yourself feel!

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 20:34:49 GMT

DISCLAIMER: The following song may offend you. In fact, it is quite likely that it will. However, I urge you to keep in mind that it is meant in good humor, and that if you knew the individual it was written about, you would realize how true and entertaining it is... except for the part about the pigmies. That didn't really happen. Keeping this in mind, if you are still offended, I would recommend smoking a bowl, and then reading it again. See- now wasn't that funny?

THE JACK SONG
By Daniel

His name is Jack
he doesn't work, he just slacks
and he likes to get it from the back
and he's not a racist, he just hates black...
people

His name is Jack
he likes to quack
and he's got no hair on his nut sack
cause he's got a disease
its not funny no its not fucking funny

Jack's got no job, he doesn't get paid
he's got no skills, so he never gets laid
he doesn't go to school, sits on his ass all day
it's better to ignore every fucking word he'll say

His name is Jack
he likes to quack
and he's got no hair on his nut sack
cause he's got a disease
its not fucking funny no its not fucking funny

Jack saved me from the one eyed pigmies of New Guinea
I swear
But that fucker let them shave all my fucking ass hair!!!

His name is Jack
he likes to quack
and he's got no hair on his nut sack
cause he's got a disease
its not fucking funny no its not fucking funny
its not fucking funny
its fucking funny

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 02:53:47 GMT

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

i want to do a visited countries one